Megatron

Calvin Johnson, wide receiver for the Detroit Lions, is nicknamed Megatron; the name of the most destructive and evil of perhaps all machines ever made; Megatron, the leader of the Decepticons, and arch-nemesis to Optimus Prime, and I don’t get it.

Calvin Johnson is 6 ft 5 in, 235 lb, and un-fucking-stoppable.
Megatron is essentially an AK-47 with a Gladius bayonet. Or at least he might as well be. There is nothing very admirable about this villain. He isn’t misunderstood like Lex Luthor or Darth Vader. Instead Magatron is more like the Death Star, he’s really big, made of metal, and has a giant gun. And, even though Megatron is so horrible and evil the Lions have still nicknamed one of their players after him. Why is this?

Oh yeah, because he’s huge and un-fucking-stoppable. But that answer doesn’t satisfy me. First of all, HE’S A DAMN DETROIT PLAYER NOW! Why is a Detroit Lion, a motor city player, named after a Decepticon, and not an Autobot, their sworn enemies?!

Motor city = Autobots Motor city ≠ Decepticons

However, I guess there are some similarities between Johnson and Megatron. Many of these similarities seem to work in both directions though, comparing Johnson to either warrior; Megatron or Optimus.
Optimus Prime is an automobile, a good guy, and turns into a huge truck.
Megatron is pure evil and turns into a giant gun…

Oh wiat, Calvin Johnson is a Detroit player…Megatron turns into a giant gun…yeah, yeah I guess I get it now. Calvin Johnson is Megatron, no question.


Caleb, Lorax Prime

addendum- It has come to my attention that Johnson, like Megatron, has been relativly frozen as of late. BSD would like to wish both of them good-luck and safe recoveries.