Zork

When I was a kid, I bought some sort of PC game magazine that normally came with a CD of demo games. I really have no idea what magazine it was anymore, but the issue I happened to pick up contained a CD not of demos, but full games from I don’t know how many years ago. I spent hours upon hours playing Red Baron, Wolfenstein, etc, etc… and of course Zork.

The CD came with Zork I, II, and III, though I only ever really played the first one much. I figured I should beat that before going on to the sequels. While, I never got nearly that far, I did have my only experience with text based games, which apparently people played back before graphics or something like that…

Let me just say, it was a weird game and probably not something most of you want to play, but it was kinda cool in its own way. Just a black screen with white text and muddling through it without any knowledge of what were commands and what weren’t. There was a forest and some sort of house with a mailbox… and a tree and something was in the tree. I never got past that forest or the house, so I don’t know what more was in that world, but it was enough for me. I traveled north and south, and apparently I once walked around the entire world, because I went west (or was it east?) until I can back to the starting point. I think there was a chest that I found but couldn’t open, and a well that went down really far… though I don’t remember if anything was at the bottom. Oh, did I mention there was house? But nothing was really in the house, except in the attic, where you received the most infamous phrase in history: “It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.” And then, not surprisingly, you got eaten by aforementioned grue.

What is a grue, you ask? Well, the researchers here at BSD have taken the time to attempt to answer that question for you. But first…

Well, this thing is certainly scary enough to be a grue, and it does seem to be pitch black, the picture could be showing anything. That could be a house cat, or a tree outside, or the monster hiding under little Timmy's bed... next.

Once again, certainly scary enough, and it is very dark... and it has nice bright eyes, that seems grue-like to me. It also seems to be near the attic, where, if I learned anything from Zork, grues live... that's actually a racoon.


Um... not a grue. It's some sort of crane, I think. Next.

Well, supposedly this is "Grue", but not the grue we're looking for. It's some sort of pile or rocks and a couple trees in Norway, apparently.

I suppose this would be scary if you had a fear of cotton (like some people I know), but look at the eyes... it's obviously scared and lonely, like a little puppy dog. Of course this could be a trick like that rabbit in Holy Grail...


Speaking of which... this is supposed to be Grue, or something according to the caption in google images. Maybe grues can change into buildings? Maybe it's like that living house in Treehouse of Horror I of The Simpsons? I think it's just The Castle Arrrrrrgh.

Scary? Yes. Large teeth? Check. Dark color making it easy to hide in the dark? Check. No other possible explanation of what this possibly could be? Check. There you go folks... it's a grue. The brown, squarish, stubby legged villain of the Zork games and terrorizer of attics everywhere.

Another mystery solved thanks to BSD.