Advisory Committee

Seeing Caleb and I don't believe that most of our friends should be in charge of their own lives (yes, I just realize I've alienated our only audience), and seeing as President-Elect Obama will soon be putting together his Cabinet, I decided it would be great to put together a group of advisors for BSD, to show people just how it's done. We've tried to select individuals from across the political spectrum (good, evil and morally ambiguous), in an attempt to support multi-partisanship. These men, women and creatures will lead BSD into a new era of peace and prosperity, one of increased readership, more frequent posting and conquest. It shall be our moment in the sun!

Foreign Minister: Thufir Hawat

He is a mentat and thus amazing. With computer-like intelligence and unwavering loyalty, Hawat is perfect for almost any role. He is used to court intrigue and should be right at home in this position.

Minister of Defense: Admiral Ackbar

It's not hyperbole to say that Ackbar is one of the greateest military leaders ever to live. He overcame a lot of prejudice (being a squid-thing and all) to get where he is and has truly excelled in his position. Leading the Rebel Navy against the Empire with a million times the resources and winning? I'm not sure anyone has done more with less. Ackbar is a brilliant strategist and besides he has a cool chair. Also, no one is better at spotting traps.

Minister of Information: Lex Luthor

While, this may seem a controversial pick and somewhat at odds with BSD's own pro-Superman position, you cannot argue with the success that Luthor has had in his life. The man got himself elected President even though he was a super villain, and one time on Super Friends he convinced the country that Superman, Batman and crew were stealing priceless artifacts. He could sell swampland in Florida, ice to an Eskimo, condoms to... oh, hell, nevermind.... Anyway, he's a genius and his purple jumpsuit is simply kickass.

Minister of the Interior: Rick Deckard

In a future where robots are trying to kill us, Deckard will be irreplaceable. BSD is simply preparing for this inevitability. He has years of experience as a law enforcement officer, and iss always complaining about wanting to retire. A cushy government position should be perfect.

Minister of Finance: Smaug

This was a very hard decision to make, as I thought long and hard about giving this spot to Richie Rich. However, in the end I decided that I needed to put someone with more experience in this position. Sure, many blame him for losing all the gold to a bunch of Dwarves and a Hobbit, but it was hardly his fault. They had fate (not to mention a Wizard) on their side. Besides, he had that mountain of treasure for hundreds of years, not everything can last.

Minister of Education: Laura Roslin

Sure, this is a step down from her current position as President of the Twelve Colonies, but I can't imagine anyone better for this position. She even has experience in the office. I'm sure editing papers and such would be a bit mundane for her, but she could get a consulting in a few years.

Minister of Justice: Harvey Birdman

While not a good attorney, or superhero really, for that matter, he has a certain panache that you want in a position like this. Moreover, he has an amazing costume, can fly and has that cool crest on his head, all of which will be very helpful in a position such as this. And an eagle... that's important.

Minister of Health: Beverly Crusher

There was no one who I wished would take my temperature more as a child than Dr. Crusher, and for that alone I think she deserves the spot. She is extremely strong willed, and driven, but also very caring. Years experience as Chief Medical Officer aboard the Enterprise as well as a stint as Head of Starfleet Medical, are about all the experience anyone needs.

Minister of Culture: Mellvar

The wunderkind of the advisory committee and also the least qualified, Mellvar is best known for his run in with the Futurama crew in the episode "Where No Fan Has Gone Before". Despite that, his encyclopedic knowledge of culture (and by that I mean Star Trek) will be vital in this position.

Minister of Agriculture: Edward Scissorhands

This position isn't really all that important unless you're a farmer or really into plants, so I went for the guy who would best trim the hedges, not that BSD has any hedges. But, I'm sure he'd do a fine job mowing the lawn. Though, he is a bit unstable, I think he can get over that problem.

Minister of Transportation: Ringo Starr

I had been considering Megatron for this position for a while, but in the end it had to go to the most downtrodden Beatle. Noe one can deny that he always made the trains run on time as conductor at Shining Time Station. Besides that, he spent a lot of time on the Yellow Submarine and he ran a Magical Mystery Tour for a while. Oh, and he wrote Octopus' Garden... I'm not sure what that has to do with this, but he's really proud of that.

Battlestar Galactica in 47 Seconds

You probably already know that Matt and I are big Battlestar Galactica fans. It is quite simply an amazing show. However, if it does have one downfall it's that a show so expansive and character driven is often hard to follow. Instead of your usual episodic type episodes most shows are told through, BSG is more like watching a epic narrative (in the same line as Kim Stanley Robinson's Mars Trilogy or Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings) one chapter at a time. Luckily though there are always people like Jim who are helpful enough to make sense of the muddle.

VIVA ADAMA

courtesy of Daniel Z.

I want to believe

A couple of months ago Biasman decided to get me all excited by lying to me about a new film, a sequel to the 1998 X-Files, X-Files 2.  I don't know why he said this.  I guess he's just  a mean hearted kind of guy.   Even the joking jab about another X-Files movie got me so excited that when I considered how unbelievable that FOX didn't cancel the series when it was on, and how unbelievable that there is a 1998 movie based on the series of course I didn't believe the news of the sequel.  I was heart broken.

Turns out Matt wasn't just having a go with me, for once he knew what he was talking about.  I still don't know if I believe it.  But there it is, and I want to believe it.  

Matt and I are both big X-Files fans, though for the most part we have contrasting opinions about the show.  None the less, we're excited.  So I wanted to take this opportunity to both wax a bit and talk about sci-fi news; because thats the kind of nerd I am.  

I got a bit of a head start on the X-Files compared to Biasman, but there is no doubt that Matt long ago surpassed me in knowledge about this show.  While Matt's been able to see what I can only guess is every episode thanks to DVDs, torrents, and FOX at two in the morning on saturdays I had much more difficulty reaching the show.  When I was younger my parents both watched the X-Files, and I did too... sort of, through closed eyes and gapping fingers.  I was scared shitless by nearly every episode, except any that went along with the main story arc or had anything to do with Aliens.  The reason I didn't find these very terrifying or interesting wasn't because they weren't any good but because not only was I just generally confused by the stories and regularly missed entire episodes but also because when you do watch a show through  tightly closed eyes anticipating the worse it's usually quite difficult to bring anything away a program after about an hour.

I think that's what I really loved about the show though, how for a whole hour I was sitting there, torturing myself, just waiting to be scared.  Why does everything that has ever terrified me in life have to be so damn interesting and intriguing?!  It's just like nearly everything else I've talked about on this blog- just like the draculas and the wolf men and the old Parisian man- I liked the feeling of being scared but I also wanted, desperately, to know what was waiting in the dark for me, even if it killed and ate me after I saw it at least I'd finally know!

The X-Files doesn't scare me any longer but it does get me excited.  Much the same way that when I was little the Goosebumps books and television show would excite and scare me, and truth be told the music from the TV program still does send a shiver down my spin.  I remember first getting my library card, I rushed over to the 'young adult' section, what ever that meant, and grabbed everyone of the R.L. Stine's  books that I could, as many as they'd allow me to take out.  I'd lay them all down on my bed and just look at them, stare at there covers, too scared at the age to read them even if I could have.  I did this every two weeks for nearly a year.

Anyways though, other exciting news about the new X-Files film is that Callum Keith Rennie is in it, that's right Leoben form Battle Star Galactica.  Which also reminds me, BSG is back for a fourth and final season having made it though the Writers Strike.  Don't the NBC CEOs kind of remind you of Cylons? ("I once put a laugh track on a sitcom that had no jokes in it" Side Note: Futurama is back on TV and has four all new extended episodes.)  I haven't gotten a chance to watch the latest episode of the show but I plan to soon.  If you haven't watched the re-imagined series of BSG before I highly recommend it, it's one of the best shows on television, has great political commentary, and is just a fraking good hour of hard sci-fi.  Click here to see what you've been missing.

Also Xzibit and Billy Connolly are going to be in the X-Files sequel.  But frankly I'm just glad that David Duchovny is working, wether it's X-Files, Californication or even another Connie and Carla, anything is good.  

Well, it should be a good summer for sci-fi fans.  If you've got any news leave it bellow of email us.  If you're interested in a good read for the summer try listening to Billy Joel for once and pick up Robert Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land. 

Happy Birthday again Matthew

Caleb, fan

Tales from the Internets, volume 2

Well, it's that time again... a time to post crazy links, that is. Once again, I got a lot of these from various sources, and I'll try to give credit where credit is due, but I forget a lot of the time where this stuff came from.

One side comment... I understand that it's some sort of marketing ploy to repeat the name of the company/product ad nauseam during a commercial, but it's annoying as fuck. Do I need to hear the word [company name removed to prevent advertising] ten times in three sentences? No, no I don't. I think I need to up my dose or television or something. I'm actually starting to get un-brainwashed by commercialism.

Anyway, on to the links. From the people at Progressive Boink, a hilarious database of Hanna-Barbara cartoon characters. Definitely worth it if you ever watched any of them as a kid (or an adult, I guess). Speaking of which, why the hell did I watch all my parents' cartoons as a kid? Was I the only one?

While still on the subject of cartoons, here's a nice picture of a "realistic" Mario World. It's quite disturbing, really. I have no clue where Caleb found this, either.

This is pretty cool. It gives a new meaning to the idea of bit actors... Ha ha, get it... I really need to stop using these awful puns.

A nice article on Little Leaguers from The Onion. Hey, can you really blame the kid?

For those of you who live around the Detroit area and watch baseball at all, I'm sure you know about Mario Impemba and Rod Allen. While, I definitely don't think they're great broadcasters by any stretch of the imagination, and they certainly aren't fit to shine Ernie Harwell's shoes, at least they have some personality. Proof in point is this little Youtube clip. Someone needs to teach the Japanese about the joys of a baseball brawl. I got this link from Bill Simmons' column, which I highly recommend to any sports fans out there.

Keeping with the sports pattern, here's a list of some of the worst injuries ever. Some of this stuff is just nasty, but it's like a train wreck.

Cylon. I'd be nervous, too... and I'm not sure what the woman is so pissed off about. Battlestar Galactica is awesome.

The Good Book... as told by Denmark. If they had this when I was a kid, I might actually be a Christian right now. I think they should start doing full length movies in Lego. That'd be awesome.

Lastly, a couple of Will Ferrell videos that are must sees: The Landlord, A Hotdog and Space: The Infinite Frontier. "Hey!"