Googling: November

Another month, another group of people of came to BSD and were disappointed. Seeing as we here at BSD want to spread happiness and good cheer this holiday season, we have answered your prayers! Thank us by coming back to read our actual articles.

"Tentacle rape" derivative of the month: "lovecraftian tentacle monster". This rape necessarily, but too good to pass up.

1. "I hate ohio" - thirteen of these this month, I really wish we could help.

2. "bsd games grue" - I found this, but I can't find Zork.

3. "'all that listening to wagner' wilde" - According to Wikiquote, Wilde uses "Wagnerian" in The Important of Being Earnest. But, I believe you want the unofficial treatment.

4. "(pennywise) it" - So this is why people are afraid of clowns.

5. "aquarium filtration systems" - I'd recommend a basic hanging filter for most people. It's a good idea to get one rated for a bigger tank than the one you have just to be safe. You can get pretty good prices on them online if you search around.

6. "calb humbert" - I think this is one of Caleb's pseudonyms.

7. "chewing the fat I smell shite" - Um... moving on.

8. "fight between edward and james" - No, Twilight fans, you do not get to refer to these characters by their first name in a Google search. BSD will not allow it!

9. "greek mythology monster with six heads and ten tentacles" - I assume you're talking about Scylla or a hydra, but neither of them had tentacles, at least how they are usually portrayed. Krakens have tentacles, but those are Norse.

10. "growing up creepy" - I think you're talking about the X-Files episode "Home".

11. "hansel and gretel" - Two children get sent into the forest because their mother is evil and their father is an idiot. They put down bread crumbs to mark their trail, proving genetics, which birds eat. They find a gingerbeard house and begin eating it. The owner, a witch, invites them inside, planning to cook them. A woodsman comes along and throws her in the oven.

12. "ice castles theme" - This looks awful, but I'm just judging by the CD cover.

13. "introduction to objectivist epistemology pamphlet" - You know, good idea. Just read this instead of Atlas Shrugged. Or... you know what? Read a real philosopher. Pick up Locke's Second Treatise on Civil Government or Adam Smith's The Wealth of Nations or better yet, go read something by John Kenneth Galbraith and discover that the only purpose in life isn't accumulating as much shit as you can. Who are you? Smaug?

14. "led zeppelin fish rape" - I swear I already talked about this, but here is the story via Snopes.

15. "mario villain reznor" - Yes! Reznor is awesome, though I'm not sure that's necessarily his name and I wouldn't call him a "villain" per se. A ferris wheel of triceratops spewing fireballs, sure, but a villain?

Reznor!

16. "ray price for the good times" - Ever heard of youtube?

17. "starwars shield robot" - That would be a Destroyer Droid, of "Where are those Droidekas?!" fame.

18. "vincent price hypnotizes" - Yes he does.

I could stare into those eyes forever

Googling: October

While this usually goes into "State of the Blog", or at least has a couple times... I've decided to expand the section a little. Every month (haha, yeah...) BSD will be going over the Google search keywords that brought people to the site, laugh at the funny ones, retch at the disgusting ones and try our best to fulfill the queries of those who came here looking for answers, but surely didn't found what they were looking for. It should be good fun.

As always the search result that brought people here most was some form of "tentacle rape". Since we don't have tentacle fan-fiction or pictures of huge breasted anime chicks getting skewered by slimy appendages, I'm sure you're all very disappointed. Sorry.

However, we do have our funniest/weirdest/best tentacle rape search of the month for you.

"Tentacle rape" derivative of the month: "batgirl tentacle"

1. "I hate ohio" - So do we, but we're not really sure what to do about that. I had a plan to annex Toledo, but that's sort of on the back burner for now.

2. "cine prive band" - Youtube video of people watching porn.

3. "'far side' werewolf" - Here you go.

4. "'garbage truck' couch" - Yeah... weird.

5. "47 in battlestar galactica" - Significance of the number 47

6. "anti ayn rand rant" - Yep, that's us. Up next: Why Atlas Shrugged is a horribly written work.

7. "beowulf historical inaccuracies" - Um... dude, just give up on that one. In the first place, it's mythology, so it's not "historical" as such anyhow. Secondly, if you want to know the differences from the book, just don't bother... That's like asking how cake the food is different from Cake the band.

8. "does the canadian flag as well as the american flag hang at hockey rinks" - Some of them sure... All of them? I doubt it.

9. "finnegan's wake unreadable" - No, but it's un-understandable.

10. "gob sticks" - A clarinet, apparently.

11. "girls like tentacle rape" - No, no they don't... Maybe really odd anime freaks with breasts do, but girls? No.

12. "halloween hootenanny" - Halloween party for hicks?

13. "in beowulf whats shields childhood like" - Um... shields don't have childhoods.

14 "manta secret of green tentacle" - I'm going to assume you meant this

15. "marty feldman tits" - While the old picture that Caleb and I had of this has gone missing, I did find this article, which I think is even better. Enjoy.

16. "shootout zamboni pattern" - There isn't any difference between how the ice is smoothed before a shootout and normally... at least as far as I've ever seen.

17. "why is calvin johnson nicknamed megatron" - Because he's huge and badass as hell.

Well that does it for this month... well, last month. Expect the next Googling in a few weeks.